NaPoWriMo #20: Control

Even though many do not
I must conrol my temper
somehow
some way
since it takes energy away
I don't want to let go of
I'd rather feel I could start
all over again

Control

It seems simple
It's one of the hardest things
especially when you feel so much
Is this normal?
It seems so random
bits of small frustrations
makes for so many complications

Control

Can it be done?
Reach a point of self-mastery
I've seen it in others
not in myself
It's a struggle
until the end

Control

How much do we really have in this world?
Only sets of experiences
basic obervance
tells us of other choices
affecting us
repeat circumstances
always come to happen
often it feels like
déjà-vu

Control

I want it to be part of my heart
yet utterly it feels like chaos
choices apprehend
driving madness
forcing defeat
in some small way
regaining courage
to keep trying
maintaining a foot hold
on part of the path

Control

the intuition of the heart serves
as a healing stone
a helping aid
some semblance of control
revisited through a mechanism
finally
partly being tamed.