j-flamingo reflections

Inspired by the grace and beauty of the flamingo, my life reflected by my love of reading, writing and creating.

NaPoWriMo #30: Epic Evanesce

Mysteries unfold
unraveling shadows
of dark mixed with light
creating a shadow
in my thoughts
concerning me
to ponder

Why you're coming back again
frightening me since I know
you never left my heart
I don't want to hurt
the way I did once
when you cast your fiery darts
my way

I need to find peace
without you
this is not the mystery
I expected
cast into the shadows
of my life
wondering what happened
in this unfortunate realm

Abounding weakness of my soul
not feeling courage
to conquer
or escape
love only deepens
a penetrating wall
meant to withstand
letting you in again

Find stillness
mimic peace
remarkable journey
trying to come away
but only realizing
how near I am to
complete devastation
ruin or chaos
because my heart won't forget
how you empower me
by continuing the beauty
held within your words

My memory beckons
as it has recorded
long since felt you near
as it never forgets
how to internally
shed a tear
reverence the fact
that I have the issues
you never did

I want to heal
when it hasn't been an option
for me
you feel whole
I feel broken
where I fool myself
into believing
upon the waters
I won't be swayed
rocking silently
into a watery grave

Breaking down
melting away emotion
long overdue to be
overcome by powers
yet to seek
in our tender friendship
relations joined through
knowledge alone
an evanesce of minds
power unconceded
form a tiny throne

A Kingdom

Our castle in the sky.

NaPoWriMo #29: Imperfect Rain

I thought we were
in a place
where if you or I
told our true feelings
we could feel the difference
even if we felt offense

We could forgive-
move forward
to remain friends

But the rain came
and it could not
wash away the pain
guilt or sadness

I wish
the rain could heal
just like the earth smells
so clean
right after rain

Then we could start
begin again
bathed in our imperfections
and be blessed by


again and forever.

NaPoWriMo #28: An Ode to Joan of Arc

In the darkness
the stars sat still
amongst the sky

A horse adjusted his footing
breathing out
slightly whinged
in the stillness
A soldier
had his head buried
between his legs

An altered life
his would be forever
As his Captain
Sweet Captain
was killed

Never in his life
had he been inspired
as much as he had
when she would speak

He could hear her now
as a voice of thunder
in his mind
inside of him
He felt sick
He questioned everything
He trusted no one

Where would his life lead him now?

What would happen to her brilliant army?

Couldn't they see how courageous all of his fellow soldiers had been in the face of such devastating cruelty and war?

The fight needed to be fought
but was the price too high?

His questions
His thoughts
of her

What she did
would not stop
He felt his soul
had changed

He had to do what he could
to remember her now
because they would not

This would not be an easy task
as so many
felt she was evil now
but he knew
which gave his heart
a moment of peace
that the tale
of the great

Joan of Arc

would have to be told!

*More info. & photo found at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joan_of_Arc

NaPoWriMo #27: Light


Only you-

Only me-

Wherein you have released light within me

Only you

will get it back

Only you

can immerge from the foundation

Failure to see

Failure to listen

Only love whoever I am

Do not accept as readily as you imply

Have you become intolerant of me?

Even so much that it hurts

Although there is still light in me

You will never see it

I have no choice

I sense this loss

responding only by having to move on

beyond your shadow

creeping up along

out of the night

finding a way

through to embrace my own soul again

to know

to learn the lucid secrets of the light

Only you

will not notice

as I rekindle again

essentially fire

resilient as ever before

because one truth remains

I am

Only me.

NaPoWriMo #26: Short & Sweet

It is a big hill.

One should climb to the top.

Sit here.

Be still.

Remember and love.

Cherish and remind.

Hold on.

Don’t fall down or I’ll have to come tumbling after.

NaPoWriMo #25: Her Flower Garden

Tiny droplets clung to the window
for a small second
then raced down unevenly
The rain felt comforting
Look at the crimson flowers
in her garden

they would finally be watered
without her assistance
It had been a long series of events
that placed her in her new living arrangements
her miniature flower garden
had been one of those things
to do for her to make her feel like
she had a place here

Filling to the brim with
Lilies -
Among her favorites
were her distinguished
and prized

All these flowers combined
to create a spiritual
of beauty
intensified by each flower
simply magnified
and resilient
although these conditions
seemed harsh and unrealistic
which might make them fragile

Instead they grew
resisting opposing forces
and finding their own magical force
growing through cracks in sidewalks
or up from the rocky soil
and even lining the fencing
white pickets and all
forming a new way
making a mixed-up garden
seem complete
with even the tiniest of flowers
peeking through the edges of
larger flowers

This garden may only last
for a rare season
but for her
with death fast approaching
it was her season
to make them live
so that something would make her feel alive
and find a way to grow
in the toughest of circumstance

If anything else
would be so pleasant
the lingering scent
and floral beauty
would capture her heart
helping her soar to the heavens
where she would no longer want for a garden
as there it would be eternal
always appreciating
how much effort and work it may take now
to make her garden whole
before the sun dried up
each flower
crumpled to a new discovery
a rare complexion
of vintage proportions
found in a new way of looking
at what beauty means through
the form of a withered flower

So many lessons to learn
places to go
but her garden
was her solitude
after a life well-lived
this was her final resting place
or at least she hoped
for one friend
to plant flowers
upon her graven bed
Then even in death
she would smell the lingering scent
all the while
imagining the image
of how the flower looked like
from her perspective

To her, this simple garden
meant eternity...

NaPoWriMo #24: One Wish for Getting Old

Using writing prompt: Write about how getting old is hard and tough...

When I am old and worn,
and there are days I cannot move as I once did.
I am hopeful,
I will still remember all the things I ever loved,
all of the activities I loved to do.
I'll do only what I'm able now
thinking as I always did of my
shining love for others.
I may not be able to do
what I'm used to doing which will bring
I believe
my glorious spirit will be still the same.
I'll long for youth that I did not keep
myself so busy that I did not reach out to others.
Perhaps, I'll feel regret.
I worry that
you will look upon me differently.
I may become a stranger.
Please look real hard and deep inside
you may feel my presence within.
Most of all, don't forget me,
don't neglect my spirit
somewhere deep inside, it has
one wish
which will be all I'll ask of you,
my dear young man...
Bring me His precious Sacrament
of my Savior, Lord and King.

Have a very Happy Easter!

NaPoWriMo #23: Time and Space

Mystical space

vast and open

creeps upon the shadow of free time

tells us of eternity.

Yet, when people achieve an opportunity to fly

into the universe, we call Space

they do not feel alone.

Time is perchance, an illusion

although we follow it

we live by it

to the fact that it can control,

even run, our lives.

And yet in our moments of time

here on earth,

we can feel ever so alone.

NaPoWriMo #22: Choose to Love

I sometimes feel like I am a no-one.
As if it is easier to loose my friendship
than to gain it or desire to keep it.

Just walk away
She's not worth it anymore
She doesn't deserve my love

As if love is something that you can change,
give up,
or have conditions upon.

What is a real friend anyway?
Who is this?
Don't we all get hurt?
What is she to you?

Can't everyone feel
at any given moment.

In the end,
after losing my friend,
I can only hope
that I am not the monster
others may see
but I know who I am,
who I want to be,
even if it's buried deep within me.

Today, I may feel like I am a no-one.
Tomorrow, I will still
choose to love.

NaPoWriMo #21: Evoke

Diversity is needed to

teach us tolerance.

Can we love and not hate?

Can we see without blindness?

Evoke, our feelings -


makes life fun


NaPoWriMo #20: Control

Even though many do not
I must conrol my temper
some way
since it takes energy away
I don't want to let go of
I'd rather feel I could start
all over again


It seems simple
It's one of the hardest things
especially when you feel so much
Is this normal?
It seems so random
bits of small frustrations
makes for so many complications


Can it be done?
Reach a point of self-mastery
I've seen it in others
not in myself
It's a struggle
until the end


How much do we really have in this world?
Only sets of experiences
basic obervance
tells us of other choices
affecting us
repeat circumstances
always come to happen
often it feels like


I want it to be part of my heart
yet utterly it feels like chaos
choices apprehend
driving madness
forcing defeat
in some small way
regaining courage
to keep trying
maintaining a foot hold
on part of the path


the intuition of the heart serves
as a healing stone
a helping aid
some semblance of control
revisited through a mechanism
partly being tamed.

NaPoWriMo #19: Coffee Shops

It seems ridiculous that I like coffee shops
when I don't even drink coffee!
But it's true!

I like the smell of coffee
I enjoy the fact that I always
dream up something to write
while I'm in the shop.

I enjoy saying "Hi"
to people who might be there
catching a tiny thread of a conversation
echoing a glimpse of their reality
Or observing someone sitting quietly
I feel relaxed.

I do enjoy a good cup of hot chocolate
Or an icy Italian soda
even a bottle of water
they don't even mind-
"May I interest you in a cookie or desert?"
"Perhaps this one time."

Smiling ~
looking for the familiar faces
of my writing group
always a chance to learn
and join in the fun
as you read where their writing takes you
all within the bounds
of the coffee shop.

After all, it doesn't seem so silly now-
Instead, it feels a part of my nonsensical
writing life.

NaPoWriMo #18: Release

If only
I felt comfort enough
so I could release
all my innermost
through poetic words
that I love so much
so deeply
released in ease
of conversational poems
reclose in grief
Still needing closure
I need to come free
although undone
I feel better
after a few rounds of words
poetically spoken
in want or desperation
Still, I ache for more.

To feel most beautifully alive means to be reading something beautiful, ready always to apprehend in the flow of language the sudden flash of poetry.

~Gaston Bachelard (1884–1962), French scientist, philosopher, literary theorist. "A Retrospective Glance at the Lifework of a Master of Books," Fragments of a Poetics of Fire (1988, trans. 1990).

NaPoWriMo #17: Pictures of You

Pictures of you

are in my head




as a memory born

for all time

never to be forgotten


to be recalled

as if by magic.


Beautiful inspiration:

Pictures of You by The Cure - Live in Wembley Arena in '91

"Love, by reason of its passion, destroys the in-between which relates us to and separates us from others. As long as its spell lasts, the only in-between which can insert itself between two lovers is the child, love's own product. The child, this in-between to which the lovers now are related and which they hold in common, is representative of the world in that it also separates them; it is an indication that they will insert a new world into the existing world. Through the child, it is as though the lovers return to the world from which their love had expelled them. But this new worldliness, the possible result and the only possibly happy ending of a love affair, is, in a sense, the end of love, which must either overcome the partners anew or be transformed into another mode of belonging together."
~Hannah Arendt (1906–1975), German-born-U.S. political philosopher. The Human Condition, pt. 5, ch. 33 (1958).

NaPoWriMo #16: Balletomane

He stands straight with
a practiced firmness,
Softly a melody begins,
now he performs.

Every step precision
carefully unites with music
telling a story
in vibrance of color.

perfectly molded-
the definition of the soul.

Embraced together as one.

He is a dancer,
a ballet dancer.


*Balletomane - as defined in Webster's Dictionary means: a devotee of ballet-a person devoted to ballet-a ballet enthusiast.

My inspiration:

Stuttgart Ballet Kameliendame Male Solo Marijn Rademaker

I wrote this as a memory from within my own realm of experience and in recoginition of my cousin, Matt, who has studied ballet in Boston, Mass. Miss you!

NaPoWriMo #15: Honestly


I'm not a very honest person
I don't tell everything about myself
to very many people
I'm embarrased
Or I just don't want people to know everything
there is to know about me.

Some things I'd rather cover-up
Or keep to myself
Once I met a magnificient person
who was different than me because
he was so honest with everyone.

You knew
You understood
what he thought or at least
you felt you knew.

So, I confided in him
As one person who could know me very well
because I was honest
since around him
He let me be that way
Loving truth
while gaining trust.

Somehow, I sabotaged it
certitude divided
now our friendship is messed up

My soul exposed to him
he truly knows
yet communication has ceased
confined in limits
hurting me
freeing him
My soul feels broken
I miss him-

quite honestly.

NaPoWriMo #14: Mental Twist

There is a pain

a twist inside

I don’t understand

buried deep within

I can feel it now

almost as if it were

hidden in the shadows

amongst tiny crevices

yet its twisted and creeps up

through my heart

spiraling, tingling

a hurtful sensation

physically sick

“Anxiety, they tell me

Calm your nerves.”

I can’t - -

I don’t understand why

I thought my life was going great

I thought I was easy going,

Even optimistic

What do you mean, I’m not?

“Medication, that’s what you need

Then it will go away

You’ll function again.”

I try, but it’s strange

and new - -

Actually, I can’t think

I feel


Perhaps before I could


but I’m forgetting about


All I know is

I just hurt - -

There is a pain

A twist inside

I don’t understand.

NaPoWriMo #13: Worthwhile Thoughts

I wish you could know
feel the way I see you
I walk strong
I dig deep
infecting your mind with my insecurities
which you kindly help me realize
are not worthwhile thoughts
You refresh me to know
that I need not feel insecure
just worthy because of how much I try
working that I may be so precious
compatible with you
Open up to me
in time I’ll return the favor
I want to let you in but I resist too often
out of fear
As you respect and love me
I will do the same for you
I can’t control or help all I feel
I don’t want to either

NaPoWriMo #12: Amicable

A gentle conversation
tender words
soft tone of your voice
pierces a depth in my soul
I was afraid anyone could reach
to hear you means so much
whimsical delight
I’ve needed this for a while
whether or not laughing settles in
I can’t think clearly
I can’t feel honestly
I scream at my depths
The empty parts
I trust you to
gently prod then wait
for me to fill
being amiable
I’m scared
you haunted me
you nurture me
take me away from my mundane world
If only for a little while.


Notes: amicable implies being well disposed; amiable is acting well disposed and amiable is commonly applied only to people - though sometimes it is used for occasions, while amicable is not applied to people at all but to human interactions and their outcomes; amiable first meant 'kind' or 'lovely, lovable' and amicable first applied to things and meant 'pleasant, benign'
from Thesaurus.com

This explanation of these words inspired me in writing this poem.

NaPoWriMo #11: Connect the Dots

Now that our world
Is full of connectivity
How do we connect the dots
From mark to line
All of this technology
Can be confusing
Which can't always replace the humanity of being face to face
At times it seems it does
Feeling as real as being there
Bridging the gaps between
What otherwise might be overlooked
Other times loneliness might feel more severe
When no one seems to acknowledge
What you care about
Other things unexpected
Do not go unnoticed instantly
As feeling, showing, being
Take on new meaning
We're wide open yet very close today
In this vast world
Making it seem smaller
Through dialogue
Than ever before
By perception of script & thought
Becoming absorbed
Into cyber space
Dotting the world
With shared minds.

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

NaPoWriMo #10: Wedding Cake

Wedding cake
Slice by slice
Eaten up

First serve the bride
Then the groom
Set in beautiful motion
Their happiness doth contain
The sweetness of the cake

As served to the wedding guests
Did you chance to get a piece?
No, I did not.

I remember it was pretty
Didn't you?
Yes, I loved the cake.

Reminisce about the cake you had
Or the one you hope for
All serve a purpose
In the way of dreams

Take off the top
Set aside
Keep it for a frozen year
Yet most do not
For after three long months
They want this memorable cake
Can't stop thinking about
The flavor
Or the frosting
Wondering if it will last a year
So, unable to resist temptation
They'll eat it too.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

NaPoWriMo #9: Told In Three Words

Certain circumstances conceal

Helping hearts heal

Resting red robin's

You yourself yawning

Seeing suffering stop

Letting lies live

Envious eyes enamored

Rising remembrance ruins


Being both beautiful

Of outstanding onset

To tell tomorrow

Happiness has happened


Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

NaPoWriMo #8: Everyone Deserves a Love Poem

Mystified by beautiful elegance
Vanquished at times shed through tears
Magnified by the sheer mystery of the dance
Somehow one finds a way
To a heart that is pure

Within these heavenly hearts
Love is captured
Ever needed
Found so lovely
As a heart that

Each has a shining moment
That we feel
Or we dare to hope
That there is an

Forever speak
Gentle words of wonder
Piercing effortlessly
Like a cupid's comfortable arrow
Binding one heart
To another

In these tender moments
An unspeakable gift
Unstoppable emotion overtakes
Those beautiful hearts
As they become
Ever continued

Eternally united
to the magical realm
Of possibility
To reason with the heart
Reaching avid desire
Completed true love

No matter who you love
One reason
Honestly matters
Where magic tells
That everyone deserves
A love poem

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

NaPoWriMo #7: My First Haiku

Majestically pouring over rain

As a waterfall greets

Midnight comes into the dawn


Photo credit (by my nephew) found at:


NaPoWriMo #6: A Double Feature - Rare Beauty & A Siren's Duet

*Note: Today, I'll present to you two poems. A Double Feature. One poem that I've completely written myself and another that was a spontaneous effort on Twitter that I wrote with Mr. Lewis(a.k.a. @Mr_Perphekt). I liked the way it turned out so I wanted to share it with you in its full-length version. I've included his information so be sure to look Mr. Lewis up. Perhaps, you'd like to follow him where he can be found online. His written lines will be in quotes & my written lines are regular form. I hope that will help you to see who wrote what. Neither poem is related one to another. They are both ultimately random happenings. Thanks so much for reading today.

Rare Beauty

From within the room,
I stared as a gem of rare beauty walked in.
Often I wondered about him and
What his feelings truly were for me.

I knew how much I cared for him.
I deeply wanted him to know.
It was plutonic yet I longed to be close.

As I searched his eyes, I wanted to see into his soul.
I knew we could be friends if only
He knew I understood his pain, his love
And if this friendship would be
allowed without restraint from others’ feelings.

Somehow, I knew him already from afar.

Suddenly, as if no one else was in the room
I felt him near me – standing there.
He kissed the top of my head.
Had I imagined it?
No, I felt the warm sensation, I was sure.
He softly turned and left my side gently –
without words.

I ran after him to say something, anything -
but there were no words big enough
for this gesture that had changed me.
I gave him a hug and we said our goodbye’s –
until we meet again.

Now in my dreams I still wonder about him
And what he might be doing
And if we can be friends
But this time I feel
I know
Like a gem of rare beauty
He cares for me too.


Poetic duet w/ Mr. Lewis (@Mr_Perphekt)[4/5/11] http://twitter.com/#!/Mr_Perphekt

A Siren's Duet

The brilliance of stars ~ shooting across the skies ~ also ~ cannot be hidden

Brilliance~in your eyes I try to hide~From emotions~Cast into the darkness~Sunk like in the ocean

In this ocean~one can feel the vast depth~endless torment or glory~never to tell~all its secrets

All consuming~Glory~Personified by mermaid song~Dark rhythms~control the tides even flow

In stillness~first notes of a mermaid's song~beautified movement of tide~seemingly waving thru shadows~of each wave

Crest rise~Shielding mermaids prying~eyes~Addicted song~Like sirens~Fight against the rocks n waves

As if floating~away from haunted song~fear drives to souls~weeping~wishing~for mermaids not to go~with the sea~come back to me

Haunted songs~Linger in minds~Driving souls crazy from human confines~Ship sails aimlessly~Across the cryptic~Sea

Travel rough&worrisome~unknown destination~songs enter voices~among human confines~to sing~for long freedom~across a lonely sea

Long forgotten~Voices search the barren~sea~Chasing memories and ghost~Long forgotten humanity

powerful voices rise~echoing among forgotten ocean~yielding ghosts that torment~forgiving ones who seek~searching in hope

Tortured souls~Forever hating those~That dare intrude their misery~Hopeless n lostVoices echo pointlesslyAcross the jagged rocks

If only~a purpose could be known~daring not in vain~against redemption~swept up in agony~an eternal trip~must in desolation end

Photo credits:

Double Feature:






NaPoWriMo #5: Wild and Free

I take more than I should from you
I keep you away from your never ending world
Together I see more than I ever did alone
This is beauty in all its complexity and truth
Help me walk through the guilt and anxiety
to overcome and stay in your presence
to taste your sweet seeds of friendship
that will grow wild and free
for my soul to harvest.

I found this quote on Twitter so I wanted to add it to go with this poem. One could say it was inspired:

All good things are wild and free. ~ Henry David Thoreau

NaPoWriMo #4: Sight

On the sight of the peacock
green blue purple fluffy feathers
reminded the old man
of a time
he could see more clearly

To see is such a gift
more challenging
since not all seeing
requires eyes
as much as it does
a soul

At times, his thoughts produced
frightening episodes
that could not be seen
only felt

Unknown is his future
Unseen also
Unaware of what paths
he could take
or where he'll want to go

What he has seen
with his quiet eyes
from dust
that echoes
left behind
in his memory

Gentle as peacock feathers
floating in the wind
he reminds himself

Hush, hush
be quiet
ever still
intently looking
all around
discovering peace
with his eyes

For what he sees
in the peacock feathers
his mind recalls
a time he could see
more clearly

Or so he felt nostalgic
from his perception
produced by his sight
on this particular day
held within a peacock eye


*photo by Daniel Fluck found at: http://www.colblindor.com/2007/06/13/colorful-peacock/ and here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/57065621@N00/1917355413/

NaPoWriMo #3: Imperfection

Carefully, look inside
a glass darkly
as a moment is gone
missing out
not letting go
giving in
to malevolence
one final time
all the while
being indignant

Swallowing me up
to where aching grows
like weeds after rain
in expectation
no longer requiring
to be around

Be attentive
Become accomodating
or willingly
lose yourself
in that moment
of imperfection
sweetly speculating

Will this be torment?

NaPoWriMo #2: Under Fire

In the trenches
under fire
the only thing
to cling to is a memory
although vague
while fading quietly
as the rain falls
washing you away

I wish
the pain would leave
If I could bury it
in the trenches
so deep
where it is hard
to feel hurt
question the loss
of one always to cherish

Even as the clearest
memory fades
or the pain subsides
into the fire
until only
ash remains.

NaPoWriMo #1: Other Than the Truth

Balancing courage
on the tip
of insight
does not help
overcome overwhelming perspectives

Look deeper
sometimes thinking
true is not actually true

Often truth is
reality before eyes
in what a person
actually does every day

Not what they are doing
or wanting them to do
more than that

Looking deeper
what is seen
they are doing
a lot more
than ever realized
could be done

Look away
never see the truth
for what it really is
missing out
on lovely beauty
by what the person
has to give

Caught up with pride
failing to see
or feel
how indeed
deeply hurt others

In the end
of false insight.

About this blog

Welcome Readers~to my blog! A tiny extension of myself and my life. Here, I'll share this journey through my top passions in my life - reading, writing, and creating. You can expect to read poetry, view my papercrafts and read design related posts. Every once in a while, I hope you'll grasp an honest feel of my heart. If you haven't noticed, I love flamingos! I think they are beautiful birds. *Thanks for your attention.*
She is pure Alice in Wonderland, and her appearance and demeanor are a nicely judged mix of the Red Queen and a flamingo.
~Truman Capote

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