Ink Notes # 5

In Her Dreams of Rain and Flowers

In her dreams

the grand field was white with lovely lilies

Now, she could see them everywhere

as she existed in her awakening

In her soul

it made her feel dishonest

to know exactly

where the beautiful flowers turned crimson

and longed to touch the sky

but in vain lonliness

In her blackest of pain

where they dried up severely with lack of water

and light simply the tiny flowers must be renewed

and find a way to come alive again

In her mind and yet in time

they would revive newly grown

as the rain fell again

for it would simply take time

with much more patience

and understanding

for the peaceful rain to come

In her heart she knew when it did

it would change her forever

because the rain would help her see herself

first calmly

as it clung to window pane

for a split second

and then raced down

swiftly -

In her moment of renewal

the rain spread out to give water to the crimson flowers

that reached far

outside her horizon

into her field of dreams

In her sight

where instead of only white lilies

or crimson flowers

there were more flowers

deeply blue

burnt orange

soft pink

hues of purple

which now they existed together

to help her see

a bountiful gift

of a lovely variety

of brilliantly colorful

and softly beautiful

flowers everywhere

As she had now awoken

into a fresh

existential perspective

of perfectly mutual kindness

with the very breath she took

that she had missed so long

of that elusive

unconditional spirit

of compassionate love

and bright hope

that her gift would come back to her

instead of what she had worried lived only

in her dreams of rain and flowers

Ink Notes # 4

In the Midst

In the darkness, the stars sat still amongst the sky. A horse adjusted his footing and breathed out in a whine. Faintly, in the stillness, a warrior had his head buried between his legs. It was dreadfully quiet and he did his best to maintain the soberness although pain seared through his heart. He knew, all too well, that his life had been altered forever. His Captain, oh sweet Captain, had been slain. Never in his life had he been as inspired as much as he had would she would speak. He could hear her strong voice now as thunder rumbling inside his mind. He felt sick. He questioned everything. He trusted no one.

The dust swirled around about him as he looked at the vast open land that shadowed where the war had been. It seemed as if all time stood still now for so many were gone. His delicate eyes had seen too much and distaste filled his mouth as he gazed upon it. He remembered such hard times wishing he could run away from the madness but his loyalty made him stay. He would fight and he did because he triumphed her cause. He knew he had been fashioned into something better for joining the rebellion. He knew her face would linger in his mind for all time. He wished, even dreamt, that the outcome had been different. Couldn't he could have paid the ultimate price instead?

Where would his life lead him now? What would happen to her brilliant army?, he thought. He knew the rules and they wouldn't change them just for peace. Control by the leadership may be regained and the all to real punishments would be carried out to prove their point. He worried incessantly: Couldn't they see how courageous all of his fellow warriors had been in the face of such disgusting cruelty? Who would they follow now and where would it lead them? The fight had needed to be fought but now he anguished that the price had been too high. He believed no one and didn't trust his own thoughts. Even the thoughts he had of her would not stop, even as he tried to forget, and what she did for their world. His soul had changed. He had to remember what others would not. So many had made their decision that she was evil, perhaps, possessed. All of this came about because of a thread of lies, as though their own deception, it had triggered their unbelief. Instead he deeply felt belief, that with what he knew had truly happened in those chaotic final moments it would change the legacy of her destiny and now also his own. He had never wanted this responsibility but he also knew that even without her he couldn't give up. Not now, when the rebellion had seemed to worked as long as it had.

This task, to remember and renew the spirit of her life and bring honor back to her name, lay ahead of him on an uneasy path were his pain would have to tread. He would give his heart for the cause and this momentum gave him strength. He knew it would not bring her back but the memory of her would linger and this brought him a glimpse of peace. Her tale was one that must be told with power and conviction for it would always be vibrant in his mind. It would be one he would pass on and fight for. More than that, he would find a way to tell it undauntingly. For the fact remained, that in the midst of all of this turmoil rattling his very existence, he knew the truth.

Ink Notes # 3

The Bird Cage

Feathers quickly ruffled and a bell lightly rung inside the white bird cage. Doreen couldn't help but turn her head to look at her mint green parakeet perched on its swing. She smiled happily awaiting the arrival of Maggie. Today was Maggie's day to clean out the bird cage and do a few other things around the small house for Doreen. Her house didn't seem much now but it had served her and her family well. For a minute, she closed her eyes and remembered moving in all those years ago. She could feel the energy and excitement that day had brought to her and her family. A new house, their very own house, she imagined and could almost hear the back door slam again as her two boys, so small at that time, ran out into the backyard giggling. A carefree moment for them that at that time hadn't seemed so fleeting.
Now, her legs ached and cramped each day and it was hard to get around as much as she used to. It was all part of the process for an old woman but she didn't feel that way on the inside. If her body would allow her to do as she felt than she would be as energetic as ever but that's not how it goes. As the clock chimed in, interrupting her thoughts, Doreen glanced up noticing that it was now 3 o'clock. She knew school hours were up and she counted on the fact that it wouldn't be long now for Maggie to arrive. It was a bright spot in her week and something to look forward to. She wondered briefly how Maggie felt about coming but then decided that it might not matter. It was enjoyable to Doreen and hopefully that would be enough. Although, there were times she wished that she could take care of things around her own house she was wise enough to realize that her independence was slowly vanishing. She was grateful that she could at least live on her own for the most part and she wanted to reside here for as long as she could. It would be harder to leave her tiny home, she thought.
__

"Hi, Mrs. Oliver, Maggie said as she quietly entered in the front door to Doreen's home. "How are you today? I'm pleasantly at your service."

Doreen fought back a smile and looked up at Maggie mischievously as she handed her a handwritten note.

Maggie took it and started to read what she'd be up to for the next couple of hours.

"Alrighty then, Mrs. Oliver, I'll get started cleaning out Minty's cage first."

Doreen grunted or it could have been a slight giggle but Maggie wasn't sure. She had her suspicion that the elderly lady liked her but it was always unclear with Mrs. Oliver. All that she knew for sure was that there was a little list to occupy her time and in the end she was sure it helped her out. For some reason, whether it was getting out of her chores at her own house for a bit or forgetting her troubles in her teenage life, it was a nice little moment of time for Maggie to spend helping Mrs. Oliver. It was enjoyable for Maggie and hopefully that would be enough.
__

Soon Maggie had all the chores done on the list.

"Will there be anything else for me today, Mrs. Oliver?" asked Maggie.

"Yes, let's sit and play a few rounds of the dice game before your mother arrives." Doreen simply answered.

Maggie retrieved the dice from the kitchen table and she sat on couch in front of the coffee table facing Doreen. They silently played a few rounds of the dice game, Doreen only interjecting a few times to explain the rules or mark down the score in the same little red notepad that was always used for that purpose. Maggie realized it must have now contained a listing of all the dice games that they had ever played.

"Maggie, if you could refill my mug with some ice water, I'd appreciate it."

"Okey-dokey."

Maggie obediently refilled the mug than came back to sit down on the couch. She started nervously talking to Doreen about her day at school as she waited for her mother to pick her up. It seemed like a long time but it was only a few short minutes and Maggie heard the familiar honk of her mother's van. Maggie stood up and Doreen held out her hand for a simple handshake. For some reason, after Maggie shook Doreen's hand she couldn't help but give her a slight but warm hug as well. Doreen received it but said nothing.

"Goodbye, Mrs. Oliver. I'll see you next week."

"Goodbye, Maggie."
__

A few days later, Maggie was studying in her room and her mother came in.

"Maggie, I have something I need to tell you."

"Alright, Mom, what is it?"

Her mother's face fell and her voice grew serious, "Maggie, Mrs. Oliver passed away this afternoon."

Maggie couldn't say anything.

"She left you this note and her son said that after you read it you could call the number within to coordinate with him when you pick up whatever the note says you could have of Mrs. Oliver's. I haven't read it so I don't know what it says."

Her mother handed Maggie the note and then left.

Maggie's hands trembled slightly. She opened the note and read the few words that it contained:

Dear Maggie,

I'd like you to have Minty, my parakeet.
My son has handwritten his telephone number at the bottom so you can call him for pick-up. He'll have a brown paper bag for you as well.

Thanks,
(signed) Mrs. Doreen Oliver

Maggie simply couldn't imagine what Doreen would have in the paper bag. She was surprised enough to inherit the parakeet. She dialed the number on the phone.
__

A couple of days later, Maggie's mother took her to Doreen's house a day before she usually rode the bus from school to arrive there for her normal time to help her out. Doreen's son was waiting on the front porch holding the bird cage and a brown paper bag which actually looked full of groceries.

Doreen's son greeted them.

"I'm not surprised my mom's giving you this little bird. It always drove me crazy when I came to visit. Here you go."

"Thanks a bunch." Maggie said brightly. "I'll take care of it."

"Okay, you're welcome."

Maggie carried the bird cage to the van and Doreen's son carried the paper bag and placed it down on the van's floor alongside the bird cage then Maggie sat down.

Maggie's mom drove off.
__

Maggie couldn't wait to be alone in her room and open the brown paper bag. She set Minty carefully on the small table she had prepared for the cage. The white bird cage looked very nice on it. Maggie sat down and opened the up the bag. First of all, it was full of all the things that the parakeet would need but at the very bottom she noticed a tiny black velvet bag. Maggie opened it expectantly with some knowledge that it contained the dice they always used to play the dice game with but there was something she hadn't expected to find as well.

The tiny red notebook.

All the dice games she had ever played with Mrs. Oliver.

Maggie smiled.

***